Reflecting On The Past

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? I just accessed this blog for the first time in YEARS. I hadn't thought about this blog since the last time I posted (7 years ago). Today, I scanned all my old posts and quickly realised how horrible and unkind I was to myself all those years ago. I was going to delete them all, then I decided not to - I need to leave those there as a reminder in how much I've grown in my mindset. 

As you can imagine, like most people who struggle with weight, I'm still struggling. Since my last post, I've gotten married (for a second time), had 2 beautiful children and gained more weight than I ever thought I would. I have not been kind to my body throughout this pandemic and it shows. At the beginning of January, I was weighing in at 247.7 lbs. That is, by far, the heaviest I've ever been. At 9 months pregnant with my son (who was almost 10lbs at birth) I was roughly 230.

But, let's be honest - I've done alllllll the diets:

• Calorie counting
• Weight Watchers
• Keto
• Low carb
• Starvation
• Exercising until I almost fainted

So I was feeling pretty stuck, as I knew that diets weren't working for me for the long term. And then something amazing happened. I saw a comment on a Facebook post about a woman named Gina Livy (@ginalivy and ginalivy.com). I visited her Facebook page, and saw she had her 12 week program starting the following week. It was $75 (CAD) to sign up and I thought, "what the heck - if I waste $75, at least I tried." and signed up.

I'm 4 weeks in to her program and it is changing my relationship with food. I don't feel deprived, or hungry. I'm not measuring or counting calories. I'm not craving sweets and chips and I'm feeling the best I've felt in years. 

I've decided to use this blog as a journal for myself, but if you'd like to follow along as I learn to change my relationship with food, change my body and learn to love myself then feel free to follow along.