Needless to say, the past month or so have been almost completely unbearable. I feel horrible about myself, none of my clothes fit, I'm constantly uncomfortable, I feel so big.
This is the one life challenge that I haven't been able to conquer and I am completely and utterly sick of it.
I don't want to be the fat chick.
In 2008 I got down to 162.2 lbs, from 220.3lbs. It was one fo the most amazing accomplishments and I felt like a million bucks. I don't ever remember being that happy. I want to be that happy again. I want that feeling back.
So to keep me motivated, I signed up for DietBet - in a nutshell, you sign up to a 'group' and commit to lose either 4% or 10% of your body weight over a period of 4 week (4%) or 6 months (10%). You pay to enter the group and when you attain the goal in the specified time frame, you get to split to total pot of money with all those that also attained the goal.
I signed up for the 4% over 4 weeks. I weighed in Sunday...
|207.4 - I can't believe I gained almost every single pound back. |
You have to include the word of the day for the DietBet weigh in, hence the work Potato.
|It's a mixed greens salad (kale, brussel sprouts, broccoli, pumpkin seeds, cranberries) |
topped with bacon and soft boiled eggs.
|That's my 5 month old German Shepherd pup!! Love him to bits.|
Then this morning, I decided to do what I like to call, reality photos. I find I never truly see myself until I see photos of myself. So I did the most honest photos:
I'm not at all happy with the above - the amount of fat in those photos makes me feel ill... to be honest, I can't quite believe I'm posting these on the internet for all to see... but I need to be honest with myself and accountable.
But I'm pulling it together and anytime I start to lose motivation, I feel like I just need to look at these photos...